The Worst Buddhist Ever on Breaking Up

On top of his inability to control his rage, his tendency to practice what I laughingly refer to as X-treme Buddhism, his uncontrollable gas, the Buddhist has this belief that his love life is of unending interest to me.

One day he pulled me aside and started spilling out this long tale about this girl who had been dating and who was very ambivalent about had broken up with answering machine. Now true, I believe there is a special level of hell reserved for people who break up with answering machines, but in his case I understood. He set out his case for me very methodically.

"Look B not that your points aren't valid," I said, "but you aren't going to argue her out of breaking up with you."

"Oh, I don't want to stay together," he retorted.

"You don't?"

"No, it's just her grounds for breaking up are bullshit."

"So you want to call her up and not get back together with her but argue about the grounds of the break up?"

"Yeah, I mean, she's totally wrong about why we shouldn't see each other."

"You let me know how that works out for you."