You Might Have Girlfriend If...

I was hangin’ out at my coffee shop one night when a decent looking guy came out and started a conversation with me. He looked familiar, and apparently he remembered me from college. After some reminisces about professors and classes, he asked me out. He was articulate and nice looking and didn’t demonstrate any major signs of mental illness during our hour long chat so I thought it was safe enough.

A few days later, we met at Auction House for drinks. After two drinks we decided it was too nice of a night to stay inside. We started to take a walk to Carl Shurz park.

As we walked he asked me, “So do you have a boyfriend?”

Over my years of experience with boys I’ve learned that this question only means one thing. “No, if I had a boyfriend, I wouldn’t be going on a date, but you have a girlfriend.”

“No, no not a girlfriend. I mean, I’m seeing someone, but it isn’t serious.” We walked in silence for a moment.

“But you know, if she saw us together, she’d kill us both.”