I say good-bye, you say hello

A few years ago, I was hanging out in Fitzpatrick’s waiting for a friend of mine to come and meet me when I noticed this guy staring at me. He was very tall and fairly good looking sucking down what seemed to be a Long Island Iced Tea. Although he was staring at me, he was clearly with a girl, tearing his eyes away from me long enough to engage in some fairly animated conversation with her.

Trouble.

But I never get involved in these types of situations. If a guy has a girl to begin with he is off limits, but one with such blatant disregard for his date is out of the question. I decided to stay in my corner and well out of the way of trouble. When his date went to bathroom, he came over to me and started to talk. I tried being polite but cold, he wasn’t having it.

Finally I turned to him and said, “Look, you are clearly with that woman, and I’m just trying to have a quiet drink without getting my hair pulled and my eyes scratched out over some guy that I don’t even know.” “Oh,” he said, “she’s breaking up with me.” “What?” “Yeah, we’ve been dating for a few months. Apparently she doesn’t want to date me anymore.” At which point his “date” showed up and confirmed exactly what he just told me. She put her hand on his back “Oh, he’s a great guy. Really wonderful. I’m just not in the place right now where I can date people.”

Right. Finding a decent man in New York City is harder than finding the Holy Grail. No woman leaves a guy just because “she isn’t in the right place to date.” She bought me a drink. Now he’s standing there trying to talk her out of leaving him, “Look, I don’t want that much from you. I want to take you out to dinner. I mean, we have a good time right?” but at the same time trying to ask me out, “Listen, we can just meet for a drink. No big deal. Just like we are now. Here’s my number.” And she’s trying to talk me into dating him, “He’s very funny. He has a job. You don’t have to worry because he is a total gentleman. He’ll pay for everything.” After half an hour of this, I told them that I had to go home. They were still talking at the bar when I left. I called my friend as I walked down the block, “Don’t ask, I’ll tell you when you get here, you late ass bitch, but I’ll meet you at Tin Lizzy’s.”