I'm With the Band

So for a while I was dating a band. Not one guy, the band.

Or more accurately they would play gigs, and I would show up and try and decide which one I wanted. There was the very cute lead singer, but he was doing the Sensitive Artist thing. Depressed poses in the corner and if one managed to torture a syllable or two out of him it was always about how no understood his vision. The bassist was not as attractive, but outrageous and funny. Unfortunately, he wasn’t very good about calling me and telling me about gigs. The drummer was good at calling, but wasn’t attractive or funny. So I’m not actually dating or sleeping with any of them.

Essentially I’m just a fan.

Their only fan as far as I could tell.

The guys were playing the Continental. Afterward, I was leaning against the wall while the drummer was attempting to lure me into the stairwell to kiss me when a guy sidles up to me. He says to me, “You’re the shortest person I’ve ever seen.”

That’s it. That’s the whole come on line.

I’m about to say something really snarky like “I’m glad I could be here for you.” But the boys gathered around me. “Oh are you with one of these guys?” “Actually she’s with all of us.” My would be woo-er slunk away and later that night, ever indecisive I went home alone.

Again.

That was the last gig they ever played.