Madame Cleo

The second Halloween after Eric left, my friend the Deadliest Vegan Alive and I were invited to this big party downtown. The Vegan, a six foot four computer programmer from Thailand bought a bear outfit, while I wore a Valkyrie costume. Unknown to me, the Deadliest Vegan Alive, who had been a close friend since college, also invited a coworker who bore a striking resemblance to Timothy Carhart, an actor I’ve always had a crush on. By the end of the night, after seeing a man in an Elvis costume wrapped in Christmas lights, a topless medusa, any number of outrageous nymph and fairy costumes, the Vegan sweating like a maniac in his bearsuit trying to dance, Timothy and I found ourselves on the sidewalk kissing, just as the Vegan intended. A week later we went out on a date, which I thought went well. He seemed to enjoy himself, laughing and joking. I ended it early to leave him wanting more. The next week, I ended up in possession of tickets to the theater. I called Tim and asked him if he wanted to come. “Um, well the thing is I don’t think I can see you anymore.” “Why?” “Because I can’t see us together three months from now.” “Well thank you Madame Cleo. While you’re looking into the future can you also see if I am going to come into some money this month? That would be really useful.”